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I didn't forget, well, I did until just now. [Oct. 23rd, 2005|04:23 am]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

Hello journal world. I see that everyone, like me, has left their journal high and dry. I wanna start back up but I don't know if I'll remember to update.

Lots has happened. I've moved out of Pilar's house and into an appartment with Maria. I'm currently taking a few classes, don't really know what I wanna be yet. But I still have time.

Is anyone else around?
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I think we have a place to live now... [Jan. 22nd, 2005|02:15 am]
[Current Mood |ecstaticecstatic]
[Current Music |Me typing.]

Pilar has been ever so sweet, and offered me and Maria to move in with her! Maria loves the idea of spending lots of time with her Grandma. I do feel a bit bad though. I feel like I should be living on my own, taking care of myself. I guess this shows me that you're never too old to be taken care of.

Now all I need is a job, so I can make my own money. As much as I'm sure I'll love living with pilar, I do want my own place someday. Someday is the keyword. All in good time, I just need to take one step at a time.

I don't know why I woke up this late, but for whatever reason I can't go back to sleep. It's snowing right now, and everything looks so beautiful outside.

I really missed this.

Wow, it looks like everything is starting to fall into place. I'm so happy, and I think that's a reason I can't sleep. I'm just so full of excitement over my life!

Simone, we really need to get together. I haven't seen you in a long while, and I'm sure we could use the catch up time. What do ya say?

I think I'll go watch the snow fall, or maybe I'll watch Maria sleep. Ah, this is the good life. :)
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Guess who's back.... [Jan. 19th, 2005|02:08 am]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |#1 Crush By: Garbage]

Hi everyone. I know that you are wondering where I went. I just needed some time away from Harmony. Harmony has always been my home, but after everything with Miguel; I don't know, everything just seemed different. Basically, I needed some time away. The holidays made me realize that I missed everyone, and that's when I decided to come back. I have been back in Harmony since the beginning of Jan, just after the New Year started. I've been looking for a place to live, since I really feel it's time I have my own place with Maria. So far, I haven't been very successful finding a place. All the places I can afford, I really don't want to live in. I'm not big on raising my daughter in the ghetto. All the places I'd like to live I don't have the money for. Damn Miguel for not sending any money for Maria. Damn me for thinking that he would continue to send money to a daughter he never sees, or seems to care about. Damn me again for thinking that Miguel would care. Good thing he's not around, or else I would spit in his face everytime I saw him in the street.

Moving on....

So readers, this means I'm back in Harmony. I don't know for how long, but I do know that I see Maria growing up here. I loved growing up here, and I know as Maria gets older she'll love it as well.

So, what's been happening since I've been gone. I'm sure lots. Feel free to fill me in. I hope to see you all soon. :)
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Damn.... [Oct. 6th, 2004|11:13 am]
[Current Mood |worriedworried]
[Current Music |Dear Diary ~ Pink]

Wow, lots has happened. I really need to get on line more. Has Theresa been found yet? God, I hope everything is ok...
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Look who's back..... [Sep. 16th, 2004|03:33 pm]
[Current Mood |excitedexcited]
[Current Music |Avril Lavange ~ My Happy Ending]

That be me! Sorry I was gone, but I'm trying to get along with my life. I've made some changes, but once I get everything in order I'll update better. I hope everything works out! No, off to read my friends list. I wonder what been going on with everyone else?
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LJ doesn't like me, or something. [Aug. 28th, 2004|03:51 am]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[Current Music |Suga Suga By: Baby Bash]

It's true, every time I try to update the system is down or something. I usually can only update at night, since I'm busy being poked by hospital people during the day. Joy.

Not much has happened here. Maria had visited me a bunch of times. God I love her. Oh, Miguel is back in town for who knows how long. He stopped by my room after seeing his mother one evening. All we really talked about was Maria. I still love him, but I'm not going to put up with him.

The hospital is so quiet at night. I find that funny, since so many people are in it. Usually when it's so quiet I tend to think about stuff. My latest thoughts are mostly about the direction of my life. I was thinking about going back to college. I don't know what for yet, but right now that's not a problem. I've only completed one semester, so there's plenty of general classes I can take. Plus, I wouldn't go till the spring at the earliest. And, I could only really go part time. It would be nice, I think. I don't know. I want to make myself a better person, and not just for myself. I want Maria to see that her mom is successful. I want her to see me as a professional, to know that she can be just like me and not have it be a bad thing. Man, there is so much I want to do. I'm just not sure where to start. I guess just one day at a time.

I know when I get out of here, I'm going to take Maria to the park every single day. I can't take it anymore, just sitting all day. I'm not going to push anything, it's just I want to get better as fast as I can. It'll be nice to walk again.

Ok, that's enough self reflection for now. I'm off to read everyone else's journal. :)
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Ah, an eventful day. [Aug. 20th, 2004|02:54 pm]
[Current Mood |awakeawake]
[Current Music |Fighter by Christina Aguilera]

It kinda was, considering I'm in a hospital. Theresa came to visit me!!!! I love having visitors. She was going to come for breakfast, but came around lunch time. That's ok with me, I got to sleep longer. We had lunch together, (yum, hospital food!) played a few card games, kinda watched TV and talked.

I never use to spend time with Theresa. Sure I saw her around and at the Russell house from time to time, but we never said more then hello to each other. It's kind of eerie how much we have in common now.

After Theresa left, I hate to admit this, but I fell asleep. Took about an hour nap. Now, I'm up. I really wish Simone would come to visit, but I know she's having all sorts of problems with her mom now. If only I could visit her ! You know what, I'll try to call her.

Peace out hommies. ;)
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What a great day! [Aug. 19th, 2004|10:54 pm]
I got to see Maria today!!!!! She came in the afternoon and we had dinner together. I forgot how much fun it is to feed her. Oh, my baby is just so cute!

Gwen put a really great thought into my head today. When I was told I couldn't have anymore children, the doctors never said why. Meaning, can I not actually have them but my eggs are still good? If that's true, I could always get a surrogate. Oh Theresa.... ;)

Seriously though, I might be able to have more children! I would love for Maria to have a little brother or sister. When I was younger, I loved hanging out with Noah and Jess. I sort of had the best of both world, an older and a younger sibling. Too bad we don't get along now though....

Oh, that reminds me, Theresa, you, me, hospital eggs tomorrow morning in my room? What do you say, do we have a date? You kinda have to come here, since it's still hard for me to move. I realized that when i tried to play with Maria. Didn't go over to well.

Eep! I have to go. Time to get my wound cleaned and a new bandage. Fun.
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My first post! [Aug. 19th, 2004|12:22 am]
[Current Mood |soresore]
[Current Music |Hospital noises.]

Hi everyone. I feel so accomplished. I made my journal pretty, filled out some user info stuff, and not I'm updating. To start, I think I'm going to copy and paste what I have on my info page.

Hi everyone. My name is Kay Bennett. I'm the mother to the most beautiful girl you've ever seen, Maria Lopez-Fitzgerald. She's my life. Her father (Miguel) and I aren't together, but not for long if I can help it. Right now I live with my neighbor Tabitha and her daughter Endora. What would my life be without my life long best friend Simone Russell. She tries to keep my in check, though I do tend to do things my own way!

That's pretty much me. :)

I HATE being in the hospital. I miss Maria sooooooooooo much. She's all I really have not that Miguel is gone. You know, she already looks so much like him. And to think, she's the ONLY child I'll ever have. I still can't wrap my mind around that. You know what, I don't want to think about that right now. I think I'm just going to try and get some sleep and update in the morning. If I wake up early enough, maybe I can call Tabitha and ask her to bring Maria over. She always lifts my spirits. Night everyone.
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